Moving Through Finals

This past Friday and Saturday I learned a very important lesson. Be in the Word. Daily. I woke up around 6:30am on Friday like normal and willfully decided to not spend time listening to God and letting His Truth sink into me before I left my house into another busy day. I told myself, "Oh, you'll have time to do it later." But I didn't have time and I chose not to make time. Big Mistake.

Friday night Living Hope had a College Night of Worship which was amazing. I was able to relax, spend time with wonderful friends and worship my great big God. Sadly, I wasn't able to praise Him and worship Him like I was made to do because I lived the day in disobedience. The effects of my willful sin clung to me throughout the night, making Saturday horrendous. Satan took the opportunity, in the midst of my disobedience, to douse me in lies. And I believed them. And I encouraged them. I no longer viewed myself through God's eyes. I stopped believing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). Satan knows my Achilles heel and Saturday he decided to rip. it. out. That night I cried myself to sleep transitioning from being angry with God to crying out to Jesus to save me and free me from my thoughts.

Sunday morning despair and depression continued to sink their claws into my flesh. All that I wanted to do was lay in my bed and cry. The last thing I wanted to do was attend a sermon that I knew God would speak Truth through Butch. But something deep, deep, within was telling me that I needed to go.

Butch preached over Psalm 23, focusing on resting in the Lord. It was beautiful. I love so much how God speaks wisdom and Truth so clearly through him--something that I will genuinely miss this summer. I love how the night before I can frustrated with God saying, "Why are you holding out on me?" and then have the Lord say through Butch, "God will never hold out on you." God will never hold out on you. It is true. He always provides for our needs; He even sets a table for us amongst our enemies (Psalm 23:5). Now, that's pretty crazy. But that is the God I serve, that I am ever indebted to.

Sunday nights I attend a Hope Group at Butch and Michele's house. I have thoroughly loved getting to know them and their family this semester. I add this in to highlight on the fact that we need one another.

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."  -Hebrews 10:24-25

I needed to be open with my Hope Group. As much as I dislike being vulnerable to people, crying my eyes out in front of them, I had to. I needed their love and prayers. God definitely uses my beautiful brothers and sisters to encourage me and speak Truth to me, especially when I need it most.

Saying all this, I encourage you to not forsake digging in the Word or meeting with other believers no matter what. I don't care how stressed you are over finals. Don't forsake fellowship. I don't care how hard work is getting. Don't forsake fellowship. Instead, allow God to be your rest.


Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.